FOBD I want you to face this fear. I have done the same with the phone in the past, but what you are currently doing isn't working. When my W came over to talk about our M, one of the reasons she said we might as well file was bc we had literally no contact for such long periods of time. She said "what are we going to do, just keep living like this." She wanted me to initiate change and I slowly have. A big problem in my M was that I rarely called her when I was away, she almost always had to call me and I rarely was around my phone to answer. She now felt she was just getting more of the same. It' not easy, but I know I have to initiate contact, not be annoying and do it all th time, but just let her know she matters. I do always prepare myself for the convo. Make a mental list of things to keep the convo rolling. As time is passing, I need to do that less and less bc our convo's just roll on naturally. So I say to you what I had to tell myself...."Time to man-up and git er done"
