hi wanda thanks for checking i have not really felt like writing anything about me lately
no new progress or new anything
there were a few times in the past week, where i might have felt we were making babysteps or that were tiny victories, but after a day of playing said sitch in my head, i know i am just searching for things
we are still in our house out west when we arrived here (separate flights, a day apart) he had told me he was not sleeping here
well, we have been here for 10 nights and he spent half of them here
2 nights ago, i thought i had a major breakthrough, when after hanging out in our yard together, he told me that he didn't care where he slept that night, that it didn't matter to him (as in rooms in the same home)
i pretended not to hear him so he would repeat the sentence
when he said it the exact same way, i thought that it might be an invite as if he were reaching out a little to say he wouldn't mind sleeping in the same bed crazy - huh? you try to find hidden meaning in nothing
then today at the zoo he said, "we look like the blue hoodie family" as we all had them on
i of course read way too much into that
and then of tonight, our last night here, he said goodnight and went into the other room and closed the door
so there you go...nothing to report
although, and i guess this is of some significance, i was feeling so strong and like i could move on this week
and now i feel, blah, again. like i do want this to work and i'm sad it's not going to
and since this is a bit of an emotional rollercoaster, i truly may feel better tomorrow
