The way you describe your relationship with your BF screams codependancy and dysfunction to me. Is that what you want in your next relationship after your marriage ended?
Please tell me how it shows codependancy and dysfunction. No that is not what I want. I am trying to figure things out. Can you explain?
He clearly sees the issues that you have and the way that you try and manipulate the conversations. You ask him if he loves you and he says yes and you have to add on the "with all your heart" crap. Meaning him just loving you is simply not good enough?
WOW....he said this word for word. He said he felt like I was always trying to measure things.
he is going to try and picture what that marriage will be like. In order for him to want to that picture has to be clear, happy, drama free, and serene. I guarantee you right now that picture for him is none of those things.
He also said this to me several times. He said I am confusing him. He said I was making him think twice. He loves me but doesnt want to get stuck in a marriage with me questioning things day after day.
That is a huge flaw and one that can have an enormous weight on any relationship. You need to figure out the underlying issues that cause you to be that way and get them straightened out before you make an expectation of anyone to be understanding and ok with that emotional issue.
Did you read what I wrote happened in my childhood. It is a couple pages back I think. I have been trying to figure it out. I honestly feel like I have been abandaned all my life.
You do not mean to make it that way and yet you do. A healthy person gives unto others with no expectations of reciprocation. It's not a contest and if you are giving of yourself for any other reason than that it makes YOU happy to do for others, then you are doing it for the wrong reasons.
You are right! That is why I said I dont mean for it to be that way, because I am not really like taht. BUT I guess I am trying to find flaws in him maybe.
Gamers who play all the time are hiding from reality.
As far as the gaming goes, he has always played this game. He plays with his brother sometimes. BUT I do agree it es escaping from life because my son does the same exact thing.
Are you scared to be alone with yourself and forced to face the issues that you need to fix on your own?
No need to say you are sorry. I appreciate your time.
And to answer your question....honestly I am wanting to desperately fix my prbs. but dont know how. I am NOT afraid to face them...I WANT to face them. As far as being alone. I have NEVER liked being alone. I LOVE to talk and could talk to anyone anytime about anything usually. I LOVE company. On top of this I guess its where I have had abandandment issues. Any help or advice is welcome. I dont want to be codependent Again!
