A Whole New Bolt

[Bolt]

(I just needed a strange title - like the song in Aladdin)

Anyway.
I wanted to start off this thread by asking a question to all the ladies out there. Guys, you can chime in if there is something that worked but given our sitches...maybe not.

I'm busting tail trying to get this thing going. Saying the right things. Complimenting. Being attentive, unselfish, caring, thoughtful, respectful, the whole 9.5 yards (I even went an extra half yard).

But I'm not feeling the desire on her end. I know that's because I have expectations but it's hard to quell those. I do want to continue doing the things I am doing but some days(actually MOST days) it seems for naught.

A big for instance was this poem I wrote. It was spontaneous and very heartfelt. I emailed it early in the day on friday. I usually get some sort of response via text or email but then, I got none.

Now, I did get upset at first and even vented a little. But I kept my head and waited for her to come home where she did say thanks.

I realize the circumstances when she came home - tough day, migraine - but still...it hurt.

I'm allowed to feel pain.

I let it go another day - saturday. Still nothing more.

So today, we drive up the coast to see a college buddy of ours. I ask her to reread the poem again, now that her head is cleared.

She does, when we left her alone. When we returned she said the poem was good. And that was it.

I know I know...expectations but come on. It's starting to get to me. I know it hasn't been long and some others have sitches worse than mine but this is my sitch and I have to deal with this one.

It just feels that there is no love and won't be love coming back. It seems that all of these little things that I post and get positive feedback from are really done out of "wifely duty".

Which brings me to the question to the ladies. What am I doing wrong? Is it my lack of patience still? STILL? I mean, in some of our conversations, we get very deep. We look into each others' eyes and I think I feel this connection.

Am I wanting it to happen so bad that I'm imagining it or am projecting it?

She keeps saying that it's going to take her time. She has to figure out herself first. What the hell does that mean? I feel that when you are in a marriage, you have given up a part of yourself to the marriage. When you have kids, you give up a part of yourself to the kids. I'm not sure what she means when she says that?

These feelings are confusing and I'm afraid that after any more rejections, I'll be the WAS...