Yes, I have always had a relationship with XH...but there have been many, many, many ups and downs!! When OW was in the picture and revealed as being in it..we went for a long time with him denying it and hiding it..in the state we were divorced in is a "fault" state..we had horrible and awful things go on between us.
About 3 months before OW left the scene, we were together physically, but he was mad at me for that happening and it was a awful few months after that (I told OW)...then the OW realized that it was her or the kids and he was going to chose the kids and they broke up.
Things after that have been very up and down, back and forth too.. there was OW#2 and although we weren't still married when she came in the picture, we had been sleeping together and getting closer. She was worse than the 1st one in many ways, but is gone now too. We live 700 miles apart, so it is a very weird situation. When we are together it is awesome, but then he goes back down there and is back in the "tunnel" for a few weeks.
It is very long story and I don't want to bore you. I have no clue where we are headed, I tried to talk to him a little bit tonight, not any R talk, just support for all the decisions that need to be made the next few weeks. But, I feed things to him in very small doses now...nothing major all at once, then I give him time and space to digest. He has been out of a job for a few months and has gotton several job offers, one in another city. I told him I am here for him and will listen, that I just want him to know he can open up to me and trust me..he will do more of that when he is here in my bed with me and we are snuggled up together, on the phone it is hard..he knows my heart...he knows how much I love him...he has to want it too and that is what I am waiting for, but not holding my breath...I told him tonight that me and the kids are perfectly fine here and will be, but all he has to do is tell me what he wants and we can try together to make that happen. He comes close, then pulls away or I do something to push him away, but I am getting better at that fine line too.
You have done all you can, and so have I, forgive yourself...what Twink said is exactly right too. Look within and know you are who you are and be proud of it. You gave your whole self to someone and they stomped on your heart, it will take time to heal and I don't know if the wound is ever completely closed, but there can be a very good, thick scap on it!
A
Me-40 XH-44 T-21 M-18 Div-19 mo. D-18,S-15,D-11 Bomb-7/07 EA,PA Mvd out-9/07-to give me space mvd back-12/07 mvd out-7/08 back with OW since 2/08 OW broke it off-1/10 in and out of tunnel and our life since!!
