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[Denver_2010]

I forgot one other very important thing that my W and I discussed...

W asked me how I was going to handle issue of her having had dated OM during our S in the future if we work on M. She asked me if it was something that I was going to throw in her face the first time that we have an argument.

I told W that, for me, it was something that would have to be put in a locked vault in the back of mind... and that the key to that vault would have to be thrown away. That it was not something that I wanted to think about in the future. And that I knew that it would not be healthy for our M for me to ever throw it in her face.

I told her that 'forgiveness' was something that I have been working on since she left... before I knew all of the specifics of her R with OM. That I had learned that forgiveness was a gift to myself. That I needed to forgive myself for all of the bad things that I have done to W over the years... for the way that I have treated her and made her feel... And that I needed to also be able to forgive her for what has happened during our S. W said that she was surprised how I have so quickly recovered from what she told me two weeks ago about her R with OM... that she does not know me to be a forgiving person... that she expected me to throw my steak knife across the restaurant when she told me... i just reiterated that my old self probably would have.

W also flat out told me that I am not in a competition with OM. But that I am in a competition with old self... funny her saying that after there was so much discussion on my thread about that being the case.

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Denver