The year of not my problem

[AJM]

Talking with a friend the other night. It occurs to me that I may have some other things to deal with about me. Go figure. After talking to him I suspect I know where some of that anger comes from - I was cheated out of the second half of my children's childhood. What I mean by that is that "we" didn't get to finish raising them together. I don't think I took that into account, but when I was talking to my buddy I was trying to figure out if I was done with kids. I had to ask myself that question. The estranged wife brought that conversation up years ago during her accusations of me and her rages. I have to face it now, due to the ladies I meet that are at different stages of their lives - some are quite a bit younger while others are about to be grandparents. Age is not the important factor there, but rather the stage they are in compared to where I am. I think I have to figure out if I want more kids or not or if it's just that I see it as a way to build a new family and complete what I started with the estranged spouse. Didn't really consider that before but it seems to make sense to me to face that.
I'm still learning to give it away. I can give it away easily but find it hard to not go back and pick it up from time to time. I must be human after all

Cheers,

AJ