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Stay focused!

Think of the big picutre and don't concentrate on the small battles

When we want immediate satisfaction is hardly ever immediate and never satisfying


BITS

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Navyguy Offline OP
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Well, I'm laying here in bed with D5 and it's 2 am. The trip from the airport went well. W looked as good as i thought she would. We stopped at a store on the way back to pick up a DVD, and W looked like she was getting emotional over something, not sure what though. Maybe the upcoming time away from the kids?

So she drops us off at my parents and I tell her she's welcome to join the kids and I in any activities. I then brought up us getting together sometime...she said "sure, I'm good with hanging out, I just don't want any R/M talk". I said of course, it'd just be hanging out as friends. Do I follow through with that? Or just leave her alone?


BITS
M: 35
W: 35
T14, M11
D9, S6
ILYBINILY: June 09
Unofficially Separated (long distance): 1/2/11
W came home: 3/17/11
EE: July 2012
Dropped the rope: Oct 2012
Piecing: April 2013
Not piecing: April 2014
Stuck.
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Navy, our thoughts are with you, buddy! Please enjoy as much time as you can with your children. They need their father right now. You will do fine. If you made it through OCS, you can make it through this. Take as many pictures as you can and use those as motivation when you get back. Good Luck!!!!

BITS never walk alone!

FOBD


Me: 39
W: 36
T: 15 yrs
M: 9 yrs
S: 09/10

So you can get on with your search, baby
And I can get on with mine
And maybe someday we will find,
That it wasn't really wasted time...
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Navyguy Offline OP
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Thanks for the encouragement everyone..having a great time here with D and S.

Well, today we're going bowling with W and her parents. W still hasn't talked to them about what's going on, although I'm sure they've figured it out by now.

Still debating whether or not I want to "hang out" with W. I know it's making myself available to her, but I also feel like it's a rare chance for her to see my changes and that it'd be a good chance to reconnect. What do you all think?


BITS
M: 35
W: 35
T14, M11
D9, S6
ILYBINILY: June 09
Unofficially Separated (long distance): 1/2/11
W came home: 3/17/11
EE: July 2012
Dropped the rope: Oct 2012
Piecing: April 2013
Not piecing: April 2014
Stuck.
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,239
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Navy, In my sitch, I would as long as I felt it was constructive. I think you will be watched closely for signs of real change. Can you be comforatble and carry it off with calm confidence?


BITS
Me 55, ACK, when did that happen? Doesn't feel like 55
D 30
S 27

You create your own universe as you go along - Winston Churchill
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Act "as if" Navy...

"as if" you moved on...
"as if" you are fine with things
"as if" you loved your life as is
"as if" you great with or without her
"as if" SHE is making a huge mistake
"as if".......

Have fun Mavy! You'll be fine!


M: 42 - W: 41 - M: 18 - T: 23 - D:16 S:14
EA - July 2010
NC w/EA - Nov 2010
Piecing - Jan 2011
I ask for div - Jan 2012
Div papers filed - Mar 2012
I move out - July 2012
Divorce final - Nov 7, 2012
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Posts: 402
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Originally Posted By: Sad_but_happy
Act "as if" Navy...

"as if" you moved on...
"as if" you are fine with things
"as if" you loved your life as is
"as if" you great with or without her
"as if" SHE is making a huge mistake
"as if".......

Have fun Mavy! You'll be fine!



I really like these "as if" quotes.

Enjoy your kids Navy. Relish the time you have with them.

When in the presence of your wife, try to stay as upbeat and 180 as much as possible. Throw her off guard. Make her curious about you and want to initiate everything.


Me - 33 W - 33
S - 9 months
M - 3 years
T - 5.5 years
Bomb - 12/14/10 ILYBNILWY
PA discovered - 1/18/11
PA began - 3/22/10
Separated
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Navy, remember kids first. Sure, they know what is going on. Just try your best to make it easy for them as possible. I hope you are having a wonderful time with them. Please keep us posted!

BITS never walk alone!!!

FOBD


Me: 39
W: 36
T: 15 yrs
M: 9 yrs
S: 09/10

So you can get on with your search, baby
And I can get on with mine
And maybe someday we will find,
That it wasn't really wasted time...
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Posts: 351
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Navyguy Offline OP
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"Hanging out" with W is on for tonight. Got some nice casual new clothes to wear. She made sure to point out that just because we have a good time tonight it doesn't mean we're back together. The old me would have been upset by that...the new me wouldn't even consider the thought. Tonight is all about patience and positivity. Wish me luck.


BITS
M: 35
W: 35
T14, M11
D9, S6
ILYBINILY: June 09
Unofficially Separated (long distance): 1/2/11
W came home: 3/17/11
EE: July 2012
Dropped the rope: Oct 2012
Piecing: April 2013
Not piecing: April 2014
Stuck.
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 3,031
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Good luck Navy! This sounds like a great opportunity to DB your W!

BITS
Denver


M 43
X 38
T 13
W moves out of home 11/2010
Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012
I request divorce 5/2012
W moves home 6/2012
Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015
I leave 3/2016
process of divorce
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