My Story - He Cheated while I was Pregnant

[AJM80]

This still [censored], but I find the more I do, the better I feel. Saturday night H came over and "babysat" the kids. he rearranged his schedule so that he could come by 6 so I could go out with some single girlfriends. It makes me nuts to know he may have spent friday night with the OW (shouldnt strippers work fridays?) - I really just want her away/gone, you know? she's not going to be in our children's lives...I'd just love for him to say to me one day in the next month, hey, I just wanted you to know I'm not seeing that girl anymore and I didn't really love her, I was just confused. (not saying I want him to ask to come back...just to say, hey, I have some respect for myself and our family and my family and sex workers are not going to be a part of that going forward.

Anyway, drank too much, but didnt do or say anything to set myself back. got home around midnight and found him curled up on the couch asleep with the baby. Very sweet. I've worried about him not bonding much with the baby, but in the last few weekes they seem to be connecting more. It's terrible enough that he's walked out on us, I don't want my son to feel like his dad only loves his sister or that they don't have any relationship. It takes time and some people arent baby people...I get that.

H paid for daughter's big girl bed and has been really nice about money. I worry it's money we don't have and he's taken a loan or something...but it'd be from his parents, so, I guess that's ok. And I still bargain shopped for it.

I hate him right now and I really thought I'd moved past a lot of that. going out wasn't fun - it was ok and I love my friends, but single, heavy drinking is something I've grown out of. So, note to self, stay away from alcohol...doesnt do much.