Thank you so much for responding. I was hoping to hear from you. I believe it was you that helped me so much with your words of wisdom a couple of years ago (I was AbbySmiles then).
You are right. He WILL deny if I ask.
Regarding guilt over D's close escape with death, I wonder about that. The only reason we let D go to the concert was because she was going with a nice boy that we knew. Turns out, that boy left without her and she ended up getting a ride from some other boys. These boys were over 18. D was sick and they knew they would be in big trouble. We are just lucky they didn't dump her on the side of the road somewhere.
When she stopped taking our calls that night, we started calling some of the other numbers she had called from. We talked to the boys and they were lying (scared of course). In the end, they dropped her off in the morning on a girlfriend's lawn. She was a mess. We didn't know what had happened to her. H went to pick her up from D's friend's house. H brought her home...she was out of it but we just thought it was similar to a hangover and it would wear off. H went to work the next day and I stayed home with her...that is when she started having seizures and eventually went unconscious. I called 911 on my cell and tried to reach H on the landline. I was hysterical.
Paramedics revived her at my house and then she was taken to the hospital by ambulance. H met me there. He was trying to reach the boys that dumped her at a friends house. The boys admitted to being scared but mostly because they were over 18 and knew they would be in big trouble. Come to find out, months later, that one of those boys gave D the drug.
As far as H feeling guilty over being involved with OW during this time, I don't know. Like I said, he never openly discusses feelings of guilt and I surely never see it (well maybe once when he knew that I intercepted that voicemail message for OW). In fact as far as guilt goes, he teases me whenever I worry about this or that....that it is my "Catholic Guilt" talking. I'd like to think he felt guilty. He really didn't alter his M.O. as far as spending more time at home or anything. He continued to escape every Saturday to do his "thing" whatever that might be.
Me - 49 H - 56 S - 23 D - 20 Married 25 years H moved out 10/11/13 H moved back in 10/13/13 H moved out again 8/1/14