Beatrice,

Thank you for your perspective. I have read and reread your posts. I think they are spot on and seems to be just what happened in H's case with attaching to the ow.

Yes, I agree that H feels rejected because the kids reject meeting the ow. The youngest still may and I will honor her decision to do so. It will have to be her decision and not forced on her if she doesn't want to or be punished for it.