I think she loved all the pictures I have of her and the kids up there that she never saw before. I never told her they were there, so I guess she must have been just looking through my facebook profile.
We chatted just a little, then...
Me: So you're gonna send me the (divorce) papers today?
Her: Yeah I guess.
Me: Well the sooner you do the sooner you can move on.
Her: Yeah I know.
Can't say for sure, but her mood seemed really melancholy, like she was feeling doubtful and uncertain.
She changed the subject and asked me where I was, what I'm doing, and what my plans are for where I'm going to stay.
I told her I had been looking at moving to Costa Rica for a couple of months (which she must have known if she had seen my facebook profile because some friends had been asking me about it)
She sounded...alarmed maybe? When she thought I was leaving next week, but then when I told her about staying at my uncle's place until the end of march she said "sounds like a plan".
In response I just sent her a smiley, and then she was suddenly gone and had left without saying anything more. Might have been disconnected. Might have left because of her feelings. Don't really know, don't really need to know. I'm feeling solid.
I have set my next goal for our relationship to get her into a DB coaching session with Dottie, either with or without me on the call.
I think there is somethings she wants and needs to hear right now, but she can't hear them from me and nobody else she knows can tell her.
And when (not if!) when I am on a DB coaching call with her as well, one thing I want to remember to talk about is that of she is at all interested in trying to make things work, I'm not comfortable with her having the divorce papers in her hands with my signature already on it.
That is just too much uncertainty for me to have hanging over me IF she is still interested in talking.
Good. I like this. I'm starting to set some boudaries for myself so I know I'm moving in a good direction.
Hey! Ho! Let's go!
I am being the possibility of:
1) Integrity 2) Loving myself completely. 3) Things flowing naturally between us, without any fear or attachment to the outcome.
