Re-Bolt

[Bolt]

Still some ups and downs, just not as extreme.

I went out on a limb yesterday and wrote a poem to the W. It was relatively short but from the heart.

It was sent early in the morning when she was at the hospital for her shift.

There was little expectations for any response but a "Thank you" would have done the trick.

Nothing all day...

Those little stupid voices jump in and drive me crazy. My only thought was that I spooked her a little. Too fast? It sure didn't seem that way. I know she gets busy at work most times but she normally texts or something.

So of course, later on in the evening, I'm out with the kids. I get a text, "Where are you?" She must have come home and saw we weren't home. I told her where we were and she just said that she had a rough day, had a migraine and was going to bed.

...not even a peep about the poem...

NOW - my selfish brain goes nuts. Why do I even bother pouring out my heart to someone who doesn't even appreciate it? I can't keep doing this without SOME sort of response. Is all of this worth it?

So...I had to calm that crazy part of the brain down and read the entire text. She had an awful day. Sometimes, she gets so busy at work, she loses track of EVERYTHING - hello? I'm not the most important person at that moment.

Also, she had a migraine. Her's are legendary some times. They just flat out suck.

So, I calmed quite a bit. Still wasn't over it, but was much better.

As soon as I saw her, the first thing she says is, "Thanks for the poem."

what a jerk I am for even THINKING of anything else.

But, because we're being open with our feelings I did tell her that it made me sad that I didn't get a response back, "not even a thank you."

Now here's the killer. She says that her day was a beast and she didn't want to just text, "Thanks" back because she wanted to say more than that.

Did I call myself a jerk earlier? I meant JERK with all caps.

Do I have a point to all of this? I'm not sure but I'm thinking that we all have to really take a step back before judging anyone's response or non-response before we go on the attack. I'm glad I didn't just burst in and say, "Why the F didn't you say thank you for the poem?!!"

That would have been bad...

but instead, it turned out pretty good...