Not Sure Which Way to Go

[downandoutintn]

gr8,
That was a good example. If we would have been in person I would have never have let it get to that point. Sometimes it is hard to type and put your true feelings into words. You are the only one that has been here since I started posting and I didn't want to push you away. I knew you meant well the whole time it just don't personally believe that is the answer for me.

On to a new topic. I haven't contacted her minus me asking her why she asked me that question. I had the kids last night and if she called then I gave the kids the phone and let them talk to her. When the kids aren't here I am going to become a really popular person.

You can do it.
You're in a great position.
Do the hard stuff

You are right and I know I can. Everyday gets easier to detach farther. I am to a point where I would like for her to come back but if she doesn't I really don't care. The hardest part for me is losing the friendship more than the M. The funny part is I know she is the same way since she wants to make sure we are still friends through this. I am not accepting only friends though at least not until sometime in the far future. I don't know if she can accept nothing or not. My hunch is that she can't accept nothing but that is what she is going to have to deal with unless she wants to work things out.

I contacted a lady friend from high school last night. I felt really guilty about it and really had to force myself to do it. It is really different for men because most men will not stay on the phone talking to men for hours but they will talk to women for hours. So I made the decision to contact her because I figured this out. I have made my boundaries that is a friendly contact and nothing else. I need someone to talk to about things other than just my problems. I need someone more in my life than talking about my problems. I have a great support group around me and need something other than a support group to talk to. So I made the leap. I am not sure how I really feel about this though or how much I will contact her in the future but I know I can if I choose to. It is truly a no string attached friendship. I don't believe there is nothing wrong with that.

I did talk a little bit to her about my sitch and that I can't be hanging out with her but would like to catch up on the last 11 years of what we have been up to.