You know the problem with change? It makes you realize your S weakness and the reason you became complacent in the first place. I've been married 16 years and for the first 13 I was the most supportive, affectionate, giving person. During that time my W refused to provide my LL. Not sex! But touch, playfulness, flirting! I am now back to that sane person yet my W continues to refuse to provide my LL.
Yes... It makes one resentful!
I can keep my W if I choose! I am in a position to keep my family together.
But I am again growing resentful!
Not sure I want her... We shall see...
Any advice?
M: 42 - W: 41 - M: 18 - T: 23 - D:16 S:14 EA - July 2010 NC w/EA - Nov 2010 Piecing - Jan 2011 I ask for div - Jan 2012 Div papers filed - Mar 2012 I move out - July 2012 Divorce final - Nov 7, 2012
BITS M: 35 W: 35 T14, M11 D9, S6 ILYBINILY: June 09 Unofficially Separated (long distance): 1/2/11 W came home: 3/17/11 EE: July 2012 Dropped the rope: Oct 2012 Piecing: April 2013 Not piecing: April 2014 Stuck.
My W has intimacy issues. She knows it. Never hugged or kissed as child. And she can't or is unwilling to do te work.
It's a very lonely way to live...
I will need to bring it up to her soon... I will let you all know the outcome.
M: 42 - W: 41 - M: 18 - T: 23 - D:16 S:14 EA - July 2010 NC w/EA - Nov 2010 Piecing - Jan 2011 I ask for div - Jan 2012 Div papers filed - Mar 2012 I move out - July 2012 Divorce final - Nov 7, 2012
My W has intimacy issues. She knows it. Never hugged or kissed as child. And she can't or is unwilling to do te work.
My W is the same way towards me but not everyone else. I see this being a huge mountain to get over if we were to ever try to R. I have had the same thoughts; if she were to come back and not be able to provide this, could I deal with this. I don't think I could accept it. That is a very big part in why I am in my sitch in the first place. If you don't ever receive then you eventually stop wanting to give.
Togther 10 yrs Married 2/6/2009 Me-29 W-26 S-5 S-2 Bomb 12/10 Separated 1/11 D filed 2/11
Down, we are in the same boat. I gave for 13 years always willing to give her LL. I told her I was pulling away. And I eventually did. My W too is willing to give to others but not to me. Here us my theory on this...
Your W no longer gives to you because you have accepted her. She no longer has to fight for your love or respect or affection or acceptance. She gives to others to gain acceptance. Something she lacked as a child.
My W is the same way. I am here because she refused to love me like I needed, and I pulled away. It will happen again if we can't work through this.
Really crappy!
M: 42 - W: 41 - M: 18 - T: 23 - D:16 S:14 EA - July 2010 NC w/EA - Nov 2010 Piecing - Jan 2011 I ask for div - Jan 2012 Div papers filed - Mar 2012 I move out - July 2012 Divorce final - Nov 7, 2012
