I haven't done everything wrong...

[ninelives]

Islander:

Hang in dude. I am EXACTLY in the same place you are in and going through the rollercoaster. Im not sure how much contact you have had lately with W , but that is what makes it so difficult. If she keeps throwing down pieces of hope for you to pick up, then it is even tougher to detach.

OM has not yet moved in with W, but that will happen I think anyday now. What can you do Islander. They may wake up and realize all the damage they are causing but do you really want them back if they only want to come back because they feel bad.

You want them back because they realize that they do in fact love you and that they made a horrible mistake. Not for the security and for the kids, those can all be factors but they MUST want to make it work with you. If not, Its bound to happen again or you will be trapped in a loveless marriage. These are the things I am trying to come to terms with.

I guess it is possible that the WAW will fizzle with her new relationship but that ususally takes time. No magic number but I have heard numbers from 6 mos to two years in the honeymoon phase with new man. Can you imagine being in this state for that long?

I cant imagine the health problems that would arise. Somehow, someway, you have to GAL and mean it. Easy for me to say because I have not been able to sustain it, could be something to do with the time of year as well. But think about it, they are out there with their new life and we are home in misery.

Its time to make things happen for you Islander. Continue with the activities you are doing and add a few more. I am drumming again and it helps. I dont think Drinking or partying is the answer but to each their own.

IF and thats a big IF, she decides she wants to come back, be in the position health wise to make the correct choice. Not one of desperation and pain. That is a short term fix that cannot be sustained.

All the best Man

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