I haven't done everything wrong...

[islander]

Rue, I am still struggling with detachment. They say fake it till you make it. I haven't done a very good job faking it, but I think I am starting to get there. It is kinda just something that happens if you start doing things for yourself. Right now I am not just focussed on the fact that my W has left me and is living with OM. It bothers me tremendously, I am still hurting, I have days when I don't want to get out of bed, but I am not letting those feelings control my life. I am starting to come to a point of accepting the reality of my sitch, and realizing that I will be ok, even if I am not right now.
For me, detachment is not feeling pain and hurting 24 hours a day, everyday. I still hurt. I still cry. But I am doing things for myself. I am not going out partying, but I have had my share of drinks with family. Right now, I am focussing on all of the projects I wanted to do around the house, and making it mine. So far this has been the thing that has helped me detach the most. My house is no longer reminding me every waking moment of what I have lost. It looks different, and I feel different.
I still want my W and family back, and would do whatever it takes to make that happen. But I am not going to wait around and do nothing while I wat for that to happen.
I don't know if that answered your question Rue, and I hope what I wrote was not just rambling. I was not somebody who could fake detachment. I wear my heart on my sleeve. But if you get up and get out more days than not, you will get there. Life will get better, and hopefully our WAS will join us one day. If not, it is their loss...