Rolling with the punches

[Redo]

BITS: Need your help and feedback. I think W and I had an argument today and I am not how i should feeling. Whether i had a backslide or not.

So on Wednesday I called up to talk to daughter as scheduled. After talk, W gets on the phone.

W : "You know we are planning on putting daughter in that kindergarten. She'll start on march-21st. Can i take out the money for her school from our joint account"

Me : "Hey i thought that was what child-support was for"

W : " Oh child support will not start till april"

M : "Oh ok then, sure go ahead"

W : "Also she'll need uniform and other stuff. Can i take those out also from joint account"

M : "You know, let me check the accounts first. I still need to pay the credit cards"

W : "Oh ok...I'll manage it"

M : "You know what. Go ahead and take out what ever money you need for daughter's school and clothes"

W was quiet and then hung up the phone.

Fast forward today again after my conversation with daughter ended, W takes the phone. Tells me some info about bank and mentions that she'll take care of daughter's school expenses.

M "Hey i thought i was paying for it"

W "You know what, when i told you about the fees the first thing you said was you need to pay the credit card. Its always been about money for you"

Rather than verbatim of the rest of the conversation, enough to say that she was mad. Mad that i am still thinking about money first. Then she goes on to tell me if i even knew how hard it is for her right now and how hard it is for to find a job.

Then she said something that completely threw me off she said "You know it is so hard that daughter's shoes are getting tight and i need think how to buy shoes". Now why did she say that stuff!!. To give an idea, the only debt was have now is the house. Thats it. We are pretty good financially. When i heard her say that, my heart just sunk. I cannot see my family in that pitiful state. Was my W trying to make me feel bad ?? I am not sure.

The W went off telling me that this not her choice. but i did keep saying that she picked this choice. And because of this some decisions are going to cut-and-dry and thats how things are. Then again i validated her feelings saying that i now understand that she had to deal with a 34year child and a 3 year old child. But i said i need to get here to get a better place blah blah. Then i think we hung the phone at the same time.

I dont know. I feel like backslid. On wednesday did i do a mistake my not agreeing to pay for daughter's clothes right away?
I feel terrible that now i have upset my wife. This is how i used to feel during our arguments. But now i am also feeling bit angry that W is still hanging onto that one thing where i did not agree with her right away on the money for daughter and holds it against me. I think she should have realized what she was getting into when she filed for D.

I dunno guys and gals. I'd love any feedback !