I don't mind you replying to FL at all here. It helps me out too. My W/XW's childhood was traumatic for her as well. Her father had abandoned the home when she was 9 (my daughter's age at the time of the Bomb), and her mother went into a major depression. Her Grandmother was her only stabilizing force in her life. At age 9, she basically had to take over responsibility for fending for her and her brother. She and her Grandmother became best of friends. About the time we'd met, her father was trying to get back into her life again. She has accepted him, but is not close.
Her Grandmother passed away a few years ago. When she started going through her MLC, she sought out a counselor that basically told her it was okay to determine that this half of her life was behind her now, "you've grieved the loss of your marriage. Now it's time to move on and figure out how you're going to have to live the second half of your life." She was a "move on" type of counselor rather than one who could help her through her grieving of her Grandmother and the trauma of her childhood.
