this post contains sexual content. If you do not want to read, then please don't. I will contain this info. in one post. Thanks! But, those who want to help, please do!
I got a prayer answered yesterday!! BIG TIME! My friend was telling me the other day that she was praying about how to be sexual w/her new husband. So, I have been trying to pray more often. When driving home from work last night I prayed that God would do the same for me. and it dawned on me that i am not being myself sexually. So I'm a vixen, what can i say? I came across an old note from h and he was saying how he has never wanted to be the guy that "always was grabbin'" on his girls-he had heard many girls complain about that and that it's a big turn on for me to come onto him. Additionally, he is VERY shy and not very aggressive in many aspects of his life. And, in most r's, i have initiated sex a lot b/c I REALLY like it! So, I pray and ask god to help show me what to do. I get home, h & I chat, I clean up a little, he gets into bed, I take off my pants and get into bed. We snuggle and I start caressing him & kissing him...A few months ago he had showed me something that he likes. (Not a bj but a little help from my hand) So I incorporate that with a little of this, and MAGIC. I heard him make noises that I never heard before!! He was squirming and kind of doubled over from a laying position.
So, I figure, if I want HIM to want sex more often that maybe i should make it more rewarding for HIM...and be a little less concerned about myself. i have an issue or two about this...
First of all, I used to have a bf who would let me give him a bj, and not indicate that he was going to come, come, and then would not do anything else for me. He was done, and hadn't taken care of me BEFORE I did that to him. And it really hurt. And when I was 17 one guy MADE me do that-like he was a big football player and pushed my head so I couldn't back away. YUCK!
OK, so now I LIKE to do it, but I still fear that if I do for h, that he won't do for me. One time he didn't and I either got upset or asked him about it or something, so now he always "does" for me. But, I also have a fear of being taken advantage of this way or being degraded. Ok, i know that H would NEVER degrade me or take advantage of me.
Last night, he took care of before AND after several times. (very easy for me). And when I did that to him. He said it was AWESOME and that it's "not right." I said, "what? That your wife is a lethal weapon?" And he said yes.
But even though there are a few ways for me, I don't feel "done" unless I have vaginal sex. But, I think that I should be able to forget about that and appreciate if I get off in other ways. (So that's one issue.)
The second is, do men PREFER that to vaginal sex. I usually start giving him a bj, then before he comes, hop on him and we get off together. But he doesn't exclaim like he does that way. He does say it was awesome, and sometimes even gets tears in his eyes. But for some reason, thinking he'd rather have a bj than vag. sex makes me feel funny. ? Insecure I guess. I don't know why. Does this make sense to anyone? Am I just being selfish. Granted I love to get oral sex too! I guess I want it all!!
How can I make vag. sex better for him? Why do I feel funky?
