H texted this morning about D7. He started saying things like I guess I am a looser father like I was a looser husband...So is this a pity party he is having for himself? It would be nice if he could just man up and stop this kinda crap. i know I have no control over his actions, reactions and what he is feeling. There are those weak moments that I have where I just want to say come home...but after everything I know I can not. I would probably be okay for 24 hrs and then it would all come back to me. And I would hate him and resent him more than I already do. This is one rollercoaster ride that I just want OFF. This week must be my crying week because that is all I have done.
I hurt for my kids. I hurt for the M I have lost. I miss my best friend. maybe I am having the pity party. This really [censored]. So my new goal for tomorrow is...DO NOT CRY!
Also I wanted to let everyone know that this week has been crappy and I have no good advice to give lately. But I have been reading and keeping up with everyone's sitch. I just don't feel I could give positive advice right now so I have not been posting on anyone's sitch.
Me:35, 2 kids from PR H: 37, 2 kids with me T: 15 years M: 8 years in Feb. Second walk out: 14-01-2011 H had PA: 2007
