After H's last spew fest. I wrote a response. I never sent it and just put it in a folder feeling better for having said those things and getting it off my chest. I won't sink to the level H has, I'm done and any other communication can go through our Ls.
H sends another email this morning. It stated that he had paid the bills for this month and that ought to help out. He said the full C/S is in there. (I have always paid the bills out of C/S) He said in fact there was a whole lot more in there. I'm assuming our tax refund came in. H did taxes last week and it was supposed to come in today.
I have no idea if he split it in half as was the plan or put the whole amount in there.
I'm just staying N/C right now and I believe H is really spinning. Of course the text he used to tell me what he'd done was in the color red. It sent a clear message about blood money.
I have a couple ideas as to why he's done this but I would like to hear what you all have to say about it...
He did it to show you (and himself) that he is the good guy and probably to manipulate you into feeling guilty for asking for what's rightfully yours in the settlement. Or am I too cynical and he just cares that his family is OK financially?
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
Seeking, I have been through the spewing all the way through with some really horrible outbursts. As time has progressed the spewing has reduced and H has acknowledged that it's not me but him. (Even last night when we disagreed on finance the conversation was very controlled). He's also said that he realised I was the only one who has truly stood by him through thick and thin.
Seeking, I am not sure about anything!! I just share that to tell you that the spewing is not uncommon and may not be consistent with who they are but is perhaps indicative of how crazy their lives are. They lash out at you to place blame somewhere, just not at themselves because that is too uncomfortable.
You are EXACTLY right about searching for your weak spots. Think of the Velosaraptors in Jurassic Park. He's looking for an opening, and then WHAMO. Same temperament as the big lizards.
He is also trying to make you feel guilty, which you should not at all. If he gave you extra, fantastic, it just goes toward making up for all the months of neglect.
Mine offered to put me through college! Guilt or Bribe? Who knows, who cares. Nothing he says can be counted on.
I really like what you did with your answer letter. It's best, Perhaps you can have these letters published someday by a vanity press and send him a copy. LOL
Keep detaching. Observe as if you were Jane Goodall observing her monkeys in the wild. No interaction, just watching. ((HUGS))
Thank you for your posts, I really appreciate the support.
H has ramped up nuttier than squirrel sh!t behavior.
Today my D18 sent me a text or rather she thought she did. Instead it went to her Dad. She sent out an SOS asking for help because the store she was shopping at had a computer glitch and would not except personal checks. She needed my debit card.
Well since H received the text he texted back and asked what she needed, so she told him. He said, "We'll be right there." Since D18 has never met the ow and refuses to, she panicked and called me. I told her to tell her Dad to never mind and that Mom would take care of it. He got the text and called her. She said are you coming alone. H got PO and told her yes, he'd come alone. Well, he was extremely angry with her when he got to the store. He also took it out on the poor store clerk.
After completing the transaction he told her he wanted to talk to her in private. So he excused D18's friend and took D18 out to the middle of the Mall and proceeded to read her the riot act. He told her she had to get over it. It had been 17 months and it was his life. She said that he'd been with her for 17 years and this wasn't an easy thing for her to get over. He went on to say that it was the ow's idea to come and save her at the store. D18 said she didn't need saving by her. If it meant she had to meet her she'd have just as soon left the clothes at the store. She told him she wasn't ready to meet the ow and probably never would be. H had a few more choice things to say about me to her as D18 stood there crying in the middle of the Mall.
He ended his tirade by telling her that I'm not saying your Mom is a bad person, I would never tell you that. He then left her telling her to think about what he said.
