So...you've already gotten the good advice to stop beating yourself up!
I'm wondering if you can use this experience to get to an even higher level of compassion and understanding for h...IOW, it **seems** as though you interpret his saying "no" to as a statement on YOU...does this shed some light for you? Can you now see even more clearly that h is a man of feelings -- good AND bad about himself -- and that he's struggling with his own demons of insecurity? Does seeing the "commonness" of not-always-feeling-good-about-oneself help you depersonalize h's responses to you?
My h has told me that I make everything about me at times...because it was a result of my insecurity and my desire to be MORE/BETTER, I never understood how he could judge it so harshly I guess I eventually realized (still a work in progress!) that my tendancy to make everything about me didn't leave room for his feelings and insecurities and ...
AS for what to do now...treat h with as much love and compassion and warmth as you can muster AND don't make it all about you This time it's about him and his feelings and hurts.
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
as a statement on YOU...does this shed some light for you? Can you now see even more clearly that h is a man of feelings -- good AND bad about himself -- and that he's struggling with his own demons of insecurity? Does seeing the "commonness" of not-always-feeling-good-about-oneself help you depersonalize h's responses to you?
I guess I eventually realized (still a work in progress!) that my tendancy to make everything about me didn't leave room for his feelings and insecurities and ...
This time it's about him and his feelings and hurts. 
