Last night h had a band audition, so I had no idea when he would be home etc. I worked late b/c I went to the doctor in the middle of the day, went home...H called me on his way home. Another +! I was on the phone with my dad, so I called h back when I was done. We asked if each other had eaten, decided to get a pizza.

He comes home, is being nice and affectionate. Then we go to bed, he takes off his clothes, and I say what I thought was jokingly, "you're big!" He gets into bed and asks if I am calling him fat. I said no, just like he has more meat on his bones. H is 6' 6 1/2" and weighed 180-190 when we started dating. He got up to 220, then we dieted together last summer. He got down to 200-205. I lost ~15. Well, I have kept mine off, and now he is back up to 220. I really did not know that he was feeling sensitive about this. We both have really small bones, and all of his weight goes to his stomach-so he's got these really long skinny legs, his belly,and then his shoulders are broad.

So h is acting upset and I don't know if he's kidding or not! He has never actually get "hurt" by me joking around with him. So I try to reassure him, and ask what is wrong, etc. I asked him to come by me, so we were spooning. I think he might have cried! ??? He said he is having problem with his body image right now. I asked why, etc. asked if he wanted to eat better (something I should know if I am cooking several times a week, no?). He says yes. ok, so then he rolls back over to his side. I go to my side thinking, WTH?? I apologized profusely, yet I still feel like he closed me out. (Now he doesn't want to do our usual snuggle let alone ) I honestly did not mean to hurt him and now I feel bad. I couldn't sleep and went to my room for a while (and cried too), got back into our bed before morn.

This morn. I didn't bring it up. He came in to say goodbye as usual. I asked what is going on tonight and he said he didn't know. That was as far as that convo. went.

Now, what do I do??? I'm anticipating that he will be distant for a period of time, how long, don't know. Last night I asked him to let me know when he was talking to me again. I prob. shouldn't have said that b/c it sounds like I am more concerned about ME ME ME. I would like to have a nice eve., I've backed off from initiating but he hasn't either. Tomorrow I have his bday/vday celebration planned to take him to one of his fav. restaurants and stay in a room with a hot tub.

I'm paranoid that he won't be receptive and want to be romantic.

I feel really sad b/c I feel like I am being left out...again...or like he is shutting me out. I want to be CLOSER to him, not farther away! Darn it! I feel like I can't do "right" by him...thinking about throwing in the towel, etc.

Please help so I don't continue down the downward spiral.
Thanks!
karen