H still living in home but cheating

[abbey1989]

Hi,
My H is still living in our home and sharing our bed. Trouble is, I am 90% certain he is having an A. He had accidentally called me from what I believe to be his secret cell phone and left a message for OW (I believe). This kind of all started about 2 years ago. I confronted him then and he denied. We went through a real period of awkwardness, but stayed together. I have given him "space". Every Saturday he either rides his bike or takes a motorcycle ride "alone" and is gone typically 5-6 hrs. I actually came to believe him. About a year ago, an email came over for him referencing OW and her house that she is designing/building. This brought it all back. I thought by then that he was not having contact with her anymore. Asked him about it and he denied. Also asked him about another instance where he took a photo of a building at the place where OW works (he doesn't know I know she works there). I asked him who told him about that new building and he got very huffy, wouldn't answer, told me I always think something is going on. Made me feel like an idiot.

I thought that night we were over (because I asked about OW again). A strange turn of events happened....that night......while I was worried about the breakup of my M, my daughter had gone to a RAVE concert and subsequently almost died from taking the drug ecstasy. We spent the next two days in the hospital with D. Thanksfully she survived, and has not had any issue with drugs/experimentation since. Strange but this seemed to bring us back together. I never thought I would live through anything so horrible as to see my D lying unconscious in a hospital bed. Things seemed to get better for us after that incident.

Around Valentine's day he was really sweet, got me a nice card even told me he loves me. Then this last week, while he is pleasant, he doesn't seem to be all that "into me" at all. I feel like a piece of furniture. I want to save my M but if he has been carrying on with this same OW for over 2 years and keeping it a secret and denying denying denying, where does that leave me in my attempts to make M work?