You're going to have to stop playing those damned games get rid of them. From one recovering addict to another.
I have thrown every game away and deleted them from my computers.
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It's a good bet, if you keep pushing her.
You are right...I might not have helped myself in that area last night either...will explain below.
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You read the book? That pleading part is not in there. And is not attractive either way.
This was before the I got the book. Now, every conversation is calm and not as emotional.
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I moved my pillows and items into the spare bedroom so she can have the master instead of the couch (which she wanted to sleep on). She did say that it is hard for her to sleep in our bed.
Just making sure I read this right... She wants to sleep on the couch...she does, she doesn't like the bed, but instead you took the couch?
So...why is that?
This is how wonderful this woman is. She wants me to be more comfortable then she is. I gave her the master bedroom so she has a retreat from me. She doesn't come home until late at night because she has knots/butterflies in her stomach around me. I took one of our spare bedrooms to give her space. She is sleeping in the bed, but it just reminds her that it is "our" bed.
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Her best friend told me that this was when she went "numb".
Her best friend...is not your best friend, right now? Maybe a little, maybe trying to help you guys, down the road? Not so much. Don't try and get info from her.
Her best friend contacted me and wanted to talk. I told her that I won't put her in the middle of all of this.
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What are the odds...?
ALL the odds here are affected by what you do or do not do. All of them. Read the book and post here, gather support.
Yesterday, we put our dog down (11 years). It was very hard on both of us. When we left the vet, I asked her if she was coming home tonight to which she replied yes. Well, I went home and cleaned the house for 3 hours (first time ever). She didn't come home until 9:30. When the dogs let me know she had come home, I retired to my spare bedroom. She came in and asked me how I was. I told her that I had to grieve by myself. I told her that I was dissapointed with her for not telling me she wasn't coming home. I said "what if I wanted to go do something and thought you would be here to take care of the dogs". She agreed that it was wrong of her to do and she will text or call me with her plans.
I told her that I had talked with several people and that I thought she was having an emotional affair with this guy. She again said they are not doing anything. She never denied it though. I asked her if he might be the reason she isn't giving this a chance and she said no, that she had been thinking about this for a year. I asked if the last time we sat down and she told me what I needed to do for this to work, if she had already decided then...She said yes. She did say that she loves me but not what a husband and wife should be and didn't think that was fair to me.
After that we talked about her finances and how hard it will be for her. Of course I told her I would give her whatever she needed. After that, we talked about small things, she gave me a hug and went to bed.
This morning, she came to wake me up. We made some small talk and also about some of the things she will need for her apartment. I asked her to explain how it was awkward being around me. It turns out it's more of a nervousness/knots/butterflies feeling. I then took care of the dogs, she finished getting ready, told me she was leaving, said I love you, and left for work.
Now...I am pretty sure this divorce is going to happen. But I will continue to practice what I have learned in the book (I know this is contradictory to "as if"). I want her to be happy and know that WHEN she gets to know the new permanent me, she will like it. I know she sees the changes I am making. She just needs to take care of herself first. I am praying everyday and know God will take care of me either way.
