Last night H called me at the same time I was dialing his #! We chit chatted and I told him I was going to get my hair cut. I asked cheerfully, "are you takin' off soon?" He said no, that he wasn't going out b/c he didn't feel like it. So I asked if he wanted for me to cook or to go somewhere. He said he didn't care. So I said I was planning to go to the groc store anyway, so I'll go pick up dinner. Do you still want steak? (I asked for dinner ideas earlier in the week and he gave me one!)
Made dinner; usually when I cook, he stands in the kit. to talk and/or help some. Pleasant convo. Nothing was said that I might have twisted around to be neg. We watched some tv, I took a shower and put some clothes away. He has been doing most -ok, almost ALL of the clothes washing and he had folded a ton of mine. I went back to watch more tv, we went to bed, read for a few min, he turns off the light and initiated snuggling!!
I know I planned to clean my room, but tbo, i am overwhelmed with how messy it is!!
What works is being pleasant, having some stuff to talk about, and asking him q's, being playful ie pillow fighting, etc.
Tonight I am meeting with SBT. Wish me luck. Both with her and if I have a convo. w/h about it. He has seen me switch so many times, that I had lost credibility. But, I was with the last one for over 15 months, and have been dreading seeing her for the last half a year or so. It's not b/c she is direct and I don't like to hear what she has to say. That's fine, but I just can't deal with all of the negative images that she gives me to think about, and she is quite pompous.
I think she has been wasting my time. One time (not at band camp) she spent 10 minutes grilling me in the fall about whether or not I have SAD. I said, no...no...no...no...I like to ski, i like snow...no... And last time she just focused on my struggle(s) and negative feelings w/o talking SOLUTIONS!! So, I have left feeling worse on most occasions. (You know-she's just a normal psychologist, not an SBT.)
sorry, i am rambling. Pam, my head is really fuzzy today too. Can hardly pay attn. to what I am doing and I need to!
