Not sure if this is the right place for me

[lostmiss97]

I was a part of this site a couple of years ago when my husband initially left. To make a long story short... he told me the day after Christmas in 2008 that he wanted a divorce, this also happened to be the day before our 11th anniversary. Talk about bad timing! I had found out a couple of weeks before that he had been having an emotional affair with a woman he met online in a Yahoo chat room (she lives in England). He then told me he was addicted to Vicodin and wanted to go to rehab to sort everything out. I took him under the impression that it was the first step on our road to fixing what was broken. He was in rehab for 10 days and when he got home his decision was made. He wanted a divorce and blamed me for all of his problems. He would tell me things like me being in the same room made his skin crawl and would be very, very cruel to me at every chance. He moved out 3/17/09. We'd see each other when I dropped off the kids or if he needed me to take him on an errand (he didn't have a car). Eventually, he moved in with his parents and has been living there since. Throughout everything he continued his online "relationship" with the woman he met and treated me horribly. He'd pick fights about any little thing and try to make it look like everything was my fault. I finally decided to file for divorce last May. It was a horribly sad day. I did not want to divorce him. I felt that I had to. I regret that decision so very much. I really don't know why I did it other than it was the logical thing to do.

So, why am I here? Well, over the past few months he was starting to act like his old self and started to want to do things with me and with me and the kids. We spent New Year's Eve together and have hung out without the kids on quite a few occasions. Each time we've been together he's been flirtatious and sweet... pretty much acting like he did when we were together. I did not push it. I let him make all of the decisions and didn't contact him when we weren't together like things were the same. I encouraged him by being friendly and showing him who I am and reminding him of who he fell in love with. To my knowledge, he was not communicating with the foreign chick during this time. Now... well, now he's back to acting indifferent. He has cut off all communication and won't even look me in the eye when we're in the same area. Even talking to him about things regarding the kids is an effort. I try not to talk to him unless I have to and when he does talk to me I engage but not to the point where I seem like I'm hanging on every word.

I don't know what to do. We're divorced, so there's no busting that. My question is, is it time for me to move on or should I do something to try getting us to where we were? Is that even possible or worth it? I love this man. I truly do. I thought that I would be able to just move forward like he has, but this is not the case. I'm afraid I'm rambling and not really making any sense. I just don't know what to do at this point.