wow it does make me feel better than i am not alone here, and that many of you find yourself in the same situation. like i said, i think the advice here and in the books is excellent, i only wished i had started sooner. i was divorce busting, doing the LRT for about 5 weeks. i was bubbly when i saw my ex-wife, made sure to not answer the phone when she called all the time, made sure if she stopped by i wasn't always home. the effect it had was this....
one day i got a text from my ex-wife at work, she said it made her feel so much better that i was handling things so well (this was after the D was filed). i really didn't know how to respond to this, i was kind of stunned actually. my db coach insisted this was good, make her think, wonder why i was so happy when she was divorcing me?? my ex-w commented around the holidays that i never wanted to talk about our "R", that when she called i never answered. i'm not sure if i missed a chance here, but she pretty clearly had her mind made up for a long time so i don't think so.
so i am where i am now, divorce finalized, home for sale, detached as far as she is concerned. she called me tonight as i was a little upset over some "rumors" i had heard thru mutual friends about our split. she tried calling and texting me today and i didn't answer, said i was busy. when i did talk to her tonight, she said she was sick to her stomach that i was so upset today, and that she was happy with where we were now ("friends") in her words. so i guess i keep DB'ing, like i said we still have a home together, a dog, it's not like i can avoid any contact. my hope is now that we are divorced she is open to starting a friendship, and we'll see where it goes.
our marriage counselor told us in 40 years of doing this that my ex and I had everything a couple should have to live a long happy life together, i'm not going to let a single piece of paper defeat that, at least not yet. good luck to all, keep up the good fight.....
