We need a group of therapists....if this works out

[sparks14]

I am just learning as well, but I have received a ton of great advice on this site. I discovered my W's 10 month affair last month. It has been really difficult to get through, but the knowledge on this site, and the Divorce Remedy book have really helped me with tactics to save my marriage.

For me detachment and GAL are the two keys point in my life.

Take care of yourself first and foremost. Start exercising. Get a new hobby. Do fun things that don't include her. At the same time, detach from the emotional and relationship talk for a while. Don't send her texts throughout your day or call to often. Don't tell her that you love her.

180 also helped me a ton. I have learned more about myself, my ability to love, and healthy relationships in the last two months than in my 32 years. I read and studied and listened. My behaviors have changed drastically, and my W has noticed them. She told me in front of our couples therapist that she resented them. Not because she didn't love me back and want to be treated that way. She resented them, because where were they for the last 5 years. She thought I had just bottled them up. I can handle that. I really don't know what she needed, because we didn't communicate well. I just happen to hit on the right behaviors.

You have hope, man. Just go through the stories on this site. Catch up with our situations and leave your thoughts. I found this site to be very helpful, but I have also found that you have to be active on other posts for others to post on yours. Either that, or I am way too long winded as well.