Crap, I left that on my wall all day today!!!! I didn't know it would appear. Oh well, it is not like people don't already know. I think the part when they visit and half the furniture is gone, they pretty much figure it out on their own... If you can't laugh at this some times, you will die!!!
Still looking positive for now, 2step. I will follow your lead if I ever get the chance!
BITS never walk alone!!
FOBD
Me: 39 W: 36 T: 15 yrs M: 9 yrs S: 09/10
So you can get on with your search, baby And I can get on with mine And maybe someday we will find, That it wasn't really wasted time...
W "oh tell him I said hi. Don't mean to be a pest but did you get the money to pay off the IRS yet?"
M "Check is in the mail. I signed all the loan docs and should have it by tomorrow"
W "ok good. Well I will let you go don't want to keep you from your dinner with F"
M "Ok thanks"
W "Ok hey I saw a car today that was very cool."
M "oh yeah?"
W "yeah. Ever heard of a 79' Chrysler Cordova?"
M "yeah. its a big car"
W "yeah but I thought it was so cool. It was only 3K it had white wall tires round side mirrors and it was big. My mom wheel chair can fit in there lol"
M "yeah those are big. You will be driving around like a pimp. Only bad thing with those cars is the gas"
W "yeah it is a V8. I always wanted a 70's muscle car or at least an old car. When I was 15 turning 16 I wanted one ask my dad to help me build one and I would buy it. Of course he said no"
M "yeah you always liked the older cars."
W "I can change my own oil and BIL can teach me how to work on it"
M "that would be cool. F said he can change the oil also"
W "yeah he would have to do it naked so he doesn't get oil on his pretty shoes and clothe. Pretty boy"
M "lol yep."
W "how is D"
M "she is good"
W "doesn't she have dr appt today?"
M "Changed it to friday. got busy at work"
W "Ok well I just got home heading over to moms to do laundry. Have a good night"
M "yeah too. Have a good night"
Thats it. No R/M talk.
Every conversation doesn't have to be saving the M I suppose
First, very cool she can change her own oil. I just learned how to pump my own gas!!
I think it's good to have conversations that don't include M. I think it's better, in fact. If that's all you're talking about, then she'll go running for the hills because of the pressure. Listen, I just had a physical yesterday. All my life, including up through November last year, I had VERRRRRRRRRY low blood pressure. At times, it was an issue. Yesterday, I had high blood pressure. The stress of the situation is too much. That's where you come in. You can make every interaction as happy as possible. Try to have more of these light ones. They are great for healing!!!
I agree with LIS. It just a general convo. Not too shabby at all. When you guys were getting to know each and were still friends, you didn't always talk about romantic stuff etc.
It's back to the basics for us LBS's. And not a bad thing right? Because we don't want our old M's - we want our newselves to shine thru and start fresh.
Sending positive vibes...!
BITS
M: 48, H: 42 Kids: 0 T: 20 yrs M: 16 yrs. (H's 1st, my 2nd) WAS/MLC: 12/7/09-I'm not the wife HE deserved Came home per L: 12/26/09, Left again: 2/6/10 Served: 10/21/10, D FINAL: 6/15/11
You handle it like a ROCK STAR! Any contact is better than none. (ie..my sitch)
It seemed she was light hearted and joked. You did the same back. AWESOME!
The point is that she felt comfortable at doing so. I know, we want them to say ILY and I'm coming home right now. But, baby steps...
We don't want your W to feel any pressure when she talks to you. You did a great job at that...you were light hearted.
The thing that stood out to me is that she quickly asked "Who you were out to eat with?" Hmmmmm.....If she didn't care she would not have bothered to even ask...
I'm so glad you got to talk to her, if even for a moment.
By the way, I read the 12 steps to talking to your Man...it was a like!
Praying for you always,
BITS
Dixie
Me: 40 H: 39 M: 17 yrs - Together 18 1/2yrs No kids Seperated: May 18, 2006 EA/Poss PA with OW for 6 months prior to leaving. 2nd Bomb dropped: Dec. 23, 2010
You can make every interaction as happy as possible. Try to have more of these light ones. They are great for healing!!!
Yes!!!
Originally Posted By: dixiegal
The thing that stood out to me is that she quickly asked "Who you were out to eat with?" Hmmmmm.....If she didn't care she would not have bothered to even ask...
And yes!!!!
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
So yesterday came and almost went with not contact but i got a text from W around 9PM
W "Today is F bday"
I did not answer since I don't think it required a response. The friend she was referring to was her #1 Cheerleader when she was getting ready to leave. When I was still snoopin I read some of the emails. This was a friend that was very close to us and we use to go on vacations together all the time.
Every weekend we would always do something as families and take the kids places. I felt hurt and betrayed. To this day I have not spoken to her but her H and I are long time friends and we still do things together but I avoid her. Seeing her is not only a reminder of my W but also of the betrayal I felt.
I decided to take the higher road and sent her a bday text.
She responded saying thank you.
Went to bed around 2AM and that was that.
Had a dream I was chatting online with my W and I ask her "havae you slept with anybody?" She responded "only 3 people. I am sorry" I just woke up from my dream and laid staring at the ceiling. Went back to sleep and when I woke up I laid in bed for an 1.5hrs just laying there. I was feeling kind of down for no reason.
Finally got up and started to get ready for work and decided I would call the IRS so that I can get the address to send the money. While I was on the phone with the IRS someone tried calling but I did not get it or see who it was. I was busy. Phone rang again, again I ignored it. I was in the kitchen my cell was in the bedroom.
Then the house phone rings I looked and it was W. I did not click over.
Then I get the following text
W "HI"
M "hello"
W "U ok?"
M "Yeah I'm ok. Why?"
M "I am on the phone with IRS"
W "Just checking...U didn't answer my txt yesterday and then didn't answer today"
I finished my convo with the IRS and I called her back
M "Was up"
W "Nothing I was worried cause you didn't answer yesterday or today"
M "Oh sorry. I saw your text but it was late. I did send F a bday text"
W "I tried calling her texting her but no answer"
M "You know how she is....out of sight out of mind"
W "yeah I know. Are you busy?"
M "nah getting ready to leave the house. Going to the bank to get the money for the IRS. You?
W "doing field work. Out in the contry looking for an address I can't find"
We made some small talk and she got off the phone. She found the place.
A few minutes later she called back.
W "yeah nobody was home"
M "So I guess the IRS will be taken care off by end of the next"
W "I just wanted to let you know H that I appreciate that. You did not have to do that.
M "I gave you my word I would. I wanted to honor what I told you"
W "I know but I wanted you to know I apprecitate it. Aren't you happy. We are going to be done with this"
M "yeah I am really happy. Never been happier to get into a new loan to tell you the truth. I always thought we would celebrate this together. Getting rid of the IRS is like getting M or having a kid. One of those things you always remember lol"
W "yeah LOL but you would not be that happy if I was still there. Hell you prob would of not gotten the loan"
M "nah. I always said it was a good idea. I just wanted to wait till after the car and credit cards where done. The car is done so it was a good time. Too bad we have to celebrate it apart. I think when I get the confirmation i will buy myself a bottle of wine."
W "I am going to use my tax return to pay off some credit card debt. You should get a nice check. My interest chargers are soo high"
M "well I sent in the letter to have the interest reduced"
W "yeah but I am here and you are there"
M "I just told the company you are taking care of your mother who is sick. So you are staying there for awhile. Same thing with the insurance"
W "oh you are clever. I am not quick on my feet like you. that is a good idea. Thank you"
M "your welcome. Well I better let you go I feel the interest charge on our IRS bill climbing as I talk to you. Let me run to the bank and send this money off lol"
W "lol Ok I should be at work in a few minutes. You know babe this car is not too good in the mud"
M "yeah I know"
We talked a few more minutes and then when she got to work we hung up.
Some good stuff I think. One of the points that I saw was I felt as if we where having a normal convo that we would have while she was at work and we where going to see each that night. Kind of weird.
