Divorce or Hope?

[Queen_of_Swords]

Thanks SC and JS.

I think you might be right but then there is the possiblity that she actually is in love with him as this has been going on for a year now in some capacity. Even when she came back to me, she wanted to be with him.

The thing is, in the first two years of a love relationship your brain lights up like it's on heroin.
That in and of itself is unsustainable over the long haul.

You know this. You've been there yourself at least once, right? You also know that reality bites...and hard after those two years! Then the real work of relationship begins because the day to day monotony of life interferes, and doubly so for someone divorced with all the complications that can entail!

Had to drive by her house today on the way to my therapy ( no choice as the only road goes by her house) and his truck was in the driveway. Immediately took a shot to the heart.

OWowow! Yeah I feel you.

I want to detach and mean it but I fear that to really get her out of my heart will take some time and I dont think there is any rushing it.

Do you really want to get her out of your heart, or do you want to love her unconditionally and let her make this mistake? Do you love her enough to let those rosy contact lenses get scratchy and irritating?

Look dude, I've been waffling ever since I got here between throwing in the towel and hoping and working against the odds.
With what Bolt, Denver, Jack and others have written, I now know what my values are. What defines love for me.

I respect the convenant I made, the vows I took. I love my H, I always will. I love my kids enough to keep trying until there is nothing for me to do about it.
I now know what I stand for. Despite the anguish, the sadness, and the sorry state of how he has treated me and how I treated him, I still feel warmly affectionate toward him often.

What are your core values my friend? What do you honor in yourself? What do you stand for? What defines your personal integrity and your definition of what love is?


CRAP

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