Personally, I believe you're doing the right thing by holding her feet to the fire about OM. If she wants to make the M work....she will immediately tell OM to take a hike and she'll never speak his name again. But as long as she holds on to him...even by one little hair, then she's not serious enough about reconciling. I know you know all of this, but mostly saying it in case somebody new was to read this post.

I really admire how you have stuck to your guns, GW. I believe that has caused your W to have second thoughts about her decision. She may not tell you, but she admires this strength you have displayed and the fact you will not put up with her back & forth shenanigans.

If the two of you get back together....maybe this time it might be best to tell her you don't care to discuss her feelings about OM, as was done the first time.

I'm really sorry that you couldn't get that position you talked about based on M problems. Life sure is unfair at times. So, this job coming up in the summer...is this something you have no say about?

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!