received a small break through...

about 5 yrs ago W changed positions, from a correctional officer in a facility to an admin at HQ.

There is a parole officer opening that she would like to do. W feels that the job she is in now is mundane and boring. W also feels that she does not get the respect that she has aquired with all the 18 year of experience she has accumulated in correction. W feels she treated like an Admin who doesn't know anything.

Given that and I have not done a good job at the following:
• Smiling
• Using a pleasant tone of voice
• Joking
• Listening (attentively)
• Showing appreciation (“Thank you!”)
• Showing interest (“What happened at your meeting today?”)
• Offering sympathy or understanding ( “Oh, that’s too bad.”)
• Naming feelings (“I guess you felt upset when he said that.”)
• Nurturing (“Would you like a nice hot cup of tea?”)
• Acts of kindness (“I cleaned your dish for you.”)
• Giving positive feedback (compliments, praise, acknowledgement)
• Using positive labels (“You’re so thoughtful.”)
• Using positive words (“The weather is fantastic.”)
• Being in your own good, up-beat mood
• Agreeing
• Using affectionate terms (endearments, pet names, words of love)
• Affectionate touch (when it is wanted)
• Physical intimacy (when it is wanted)
• Giving gifts, treats
• Offering help, assistance or advice
• Giving unsolicited, assistance or advice help (when it is wanted)
• “News, weather and sports” (small talk about the events of the day or interesting topics)
• Greetings and salutations (“Have a nice day.”)
• Forgiving (“You didn’t mean to break my favourite dish…”)
• Compromising, being flexible

I have been more of:
• Frowning, looking unpleasant
• Unpleasant tone of voice, snarling, mumbling
• Showing lack of interest
• Disagreeing
• Your own bad mood or poorly managed stress
• Making requests
• Giving instructions (unless requested)
• Making negative comments (“This house is falling apart.”)
• Using negative labels (“You are being rude.”)
• Verbal abuse (Insults, put-downs, sarcasm, , mocking, swearing)
• Giving negative feedback (criticism, correction, complaints, judgment, lectures)
• Any show of anger or displeasure (raised voice, slammed door, hanging up phone, walking out)
• Threats
• Ignoring (withdrawal, stonewalling, sulking, lack of attention, neglecting)
• Acts of unkindness
• Interrogating
• Challenging
• Embarrassing, humiliating
• Rigidity, inflexibility
• Directing, insisting, controlling, forcing, steamrolling

So I am not sure going dark or doing a 180 would be in my best interest.

W in fact said at one time that Positive attention is like an aphrodisiac.

So it looks like I need to work on myself and improve in being more positive...

Interested in comments, suggestions, opinions, advice