Start doing everything without him. Let him see you enjoying yourself. I was very optimistic about this and I haven't turned a corner but I believe in me. Start believing in yourself. We really don't need them to survive. I really don't know if this will work but what else do we have to lose?
Me 44 W 38 M 18 D 18 D 13 Bomb 10/21/2010 Divorced 7/19/2011 Just getting to the 7th inning!
It may work it may not. this process is for you to come you a better person.
Bomb 8/09. Brief piecing 12/10. D-2/12 Two incredible kids D9,S6 Leading new life! “Success is not to be pursued; it is to be attracted by the person we become."
All that is great advice. Except, I can't do it. I feel the weekends are the only times for us to "hang out" which we do. During the week it is just TV time and then off to bed I go and he on the couch. His biggest complaint was that I was always off doing things. I am having a hard time GAL and being there for him... errrrr, ugggg
me:51 H: 48 No kids together M:14 years seperated:Ask him to GET OUT 3/21/11 Piecing 09/14
my H made an interesting statement yesterday. He asked me if my sister and her husband "were also on the outs" Why would he bring that up just out of the blue? Thoughts?
me:51 H: 48 No kids together M:14 years seperated:Ask him to GET OUT 3/21/11 Piecing 09/14
Last night was fair. He was doing some research for me on an i-pad. He feel asleep first, then I went to bed. This morning he was down right mean, as in he said ZERO to me, ZERO. I was as cheerful as possible but my feelings are hurt and my mind is spinning out of control. A huge personal backslide for me. To top it off my cell just rang once and then he hung up. I wonder what that was about.
me:51 H: 48 No kids together M:14 years seperated:Ask him to GET OUT 3/21/11 Piecing 09/14
I need some help here. The last few days have been hard.
first, he called me at work in a panic that he needed my computer password. Ruined my day. I don't know why. Then yesterday he sends me a text "Do you ever think before you do something, I didn't think so."
Here is the deal...I threw away a 70.00 printer that hasnot been used in 4 years!!! It didn't work 4 years ago and I am 100% sure it didn't work yesterday. He also found in the garbage can (in the garage)an old check book of mine that I ripped up and tossed.
He just let me have it. All the while I just sat on the couch and listened. Never argued back.
Why will he find ANYTHING to critize me about? How should I act the next time?
me:51 H: 48 No kids together M:14 years seperated:Ask him to GET OUT 3/21/11 Piecing 09/14
I think your current strategy is sound. Listen and don't react. He's trying to get a rise out of you, so he confirm in his own head ideas he has about you and your character. Either that or you can totally agree ( uhum, yeah) with him and render his weapon useless. Hard to start an argument with someone that agrees. Of course you will have to be secure enough in your own person to take this route, and really affirm your own worth.
BITS Me-51, WAS-52 Kids 2 M-26yrs, H.left 2009, 2 more Bomb drops, Reconnection spring 2013 Change is inevitable, personal growth is a choice. Love is a action and choice you make, every day.
Thanks...I have not reacted in 2 months At.All. I'm not sure why he keeps on trying to engage me in an arguement.
On another note....I noticed he has packed 3 boxes of clothes(hangers and all) and put them in the garage. When I asked him about it he said he was thinning out the clothes he doesn't wear anymore. I should not have asked him, I know that. I just think I deserve to know if he is staying (as roommates) or moving out. Everyday when I get home I wonder is this the day and what will I find.
me:51 H: 48 No kids together M:14 years seperated:Ask him to GET OUT 3/21/11 Piecing 09/14
Hard to start an argument with someone that agrees. Of course you will have to be secure enough in your own person to take this route, and really affirm your own worth.