I think one of the biggest lessons I've learned over the past year is that you can't control others (realistically), you can only control yourself. And by doing that, you often get the response you hoped for in the first place. Here's a perfect example. I mentioned in my last post that I was getting upset seeing H coming over in the middle of the night drunk/drugged when CLEARLY, he shouldn't have been driving. Rather than yell, lecture, threaten, scare, guilt, or pressure him into NOT doing that anymore, I simply told him that if he did that again, I'd be sleeping on the couch. This is an email I received at 1 am this morning.
"Sorry for everything. For the last year. For all of the pain and heartache.
I might not remember this email, but the emotions are real. I would drive over and snuggle up beside you, but you've threatened to sleep on the couch if I did. Hardly seems worth it.
Going to sleep now, in the lonely bed I made.
He's been doing A LOT of apologizing. That's nothing new. But in standing up for myself and simply stating how *I* would respond to a situation I very much dislike, it affected his behavior.
"Love me when I least deserve it, for that is when I need it the most"
M18 Me39,H42 D16 Bomb 1/10 Moved out 3/10 OW 6/10 H wants to R,OW gone 11/10 H moves back 5/11 H wants to wear rings again 9/11
