Hi Karen,

Just checking in.

Sounds to me like you are under a lot of pressure. Is this coming from you? and expectations?

You ARE doing great.

If putting more goals in front of you just adds to the pressure....that may not be what you want to do right now.

Maybe you need to just focus on what you can expect "more easily" from yourself.

I wonder if it occured to you that maybe one of the reasons H doesn't put quite as much effort into his appearance when he goes out with you is that he is more comfortable around you...and doesn't feel the need to be so careful! That should be a compliment ...that he is comfortable.

It can be a chore to be always "On".

..Be sure you let him know when he does put in some effort!...Make a point of telling him you noticed! He may be looking for that reassurance.....( guyts are funny that way...they can't say, "Does this make my butt look big?"

You know...some of that DB'ing...." Catching him doing something good"? LOL

let's look over your goals..

"I will not start fights with H"

That is a bit large......Fights can be small or they can be big...and I don't think you are looking for a knock down drag out are you!!
So how about..."You will listen a little more intently, before resoponding", that way you would be less likely to initiate anything negative...because you would take the time to analyze it first..........

"I will be totally fine with spending time apart if he is moody"
Who would WANT to be around anyone who is moody....Go ahead get out and get a way...and DON'T feel guilty! It is probably for the best if you DO get away from him if he is in a "Mood"....just make sure you do it in a neutral sort of way...No slamming doors no shouting you get the idea......you are just going out for awhile...and let him stew in his mood...

Good goal: Be LOVELY!! YOU deserve lovely this weekend.

"I will clean up some of this house"

Now is it really a mess??????
Clean only if it puts you in a good mood! Otherwise.....forget it....weekends are for fun and relaxing....workdays are for work!!!
(Unless you are like me and find it soooooo theraputic to put all the tools on the workbench in order according to their length and function.I know, I know...I'm ILL!!!)

How about naked vacuming??? Maybe he could participate....How's that for a goal!

Hugs!
Trish