Wanted to update my situation with bf. We had our couselling session with our Pastor. He told us he did NOT think we were ready for marriage 1)I am still needy and need to work on self. 2)BF has some issues of committment to work out. Those were the two main reasons. My bf plays a game online and it takes up alot of time and the Pastor feels with the pressure of trying to lay this down along with my pressure of marriage, it is NOT helping our situation. Pastor seems to think we need to wait and said he commended my bf for waiting on God. He also said that I should be thankful that i have a man that is NOT wanting to take advantage of me. Pastor said we can NOT change each other but each of us can change ourselves. He says I have two choices,,,,wait on bf to be ready OR leave. He says NO MORE pushing bf. He said I am trying to manipulate bf into marriage. I told him bf was not as attentive as I would like, and that our Love Languages were different. Pastor said we can NOT change each other. I told him I thought bf needed to meet me half way and be more attentive......Pastor said THIS was also maniplating.
He did not agree with the living arrangement of course.
I prb should have added that bf and I argue alot. It use to be about marriage and the pressure with being intimate. I take blame for that mostly. BUT alot of it is communication. Please dont misread this. BF and I have alot of different opinions on things and ways to approach things. I jump in and he researches the life out of it.
Bf and I have alot of fun together and he is good to me. He provides for me and does little things for me. Example.....I woke to pancakes and sausage in bed a couple days ago. What a way to wake up! BUT I do for him too.
I wear my heart on my sleeve and can cry or get my feelings hurt in a instance. I have always been this way. I hear things one way when someone could mean another. KWIM?
I love to pamper my man, as did I with ex. This can be a bad things though. Sometimes I feel like I am being taken advantage of when doing this. I mean if someone can lay back and let someone else do for them and that person does it gladly then it becomes a habit. Sometimes I feel this way with bf. Even though he does things for me I feel I do more for him. I know also that it should be a contest and I dont mean to make it that way.
My bf is very different but I love him. I love him with all my heart. I can honestly say that. I asked him if he felt the same about me and he said he loved me. I said with all your heart? *which my friend told me to quit asking questions.....and just let the relationship happen* BF said that to him when you love someone with all your heart you are ready to marry them and he is not ready. This concerned me. Bf asked why I had to measure everything. These talks he DOES NOT like to have because they usually turn into an argument.
Well thats all the time I have to post right now. I will post more later.
