Hi, Last night I got home from church at about 8pm. H was in the basement sucking up water with the shopvac as the basement is flooding in one room. It rained non-stop for 2-3 days. yuck...so, I offered to help, but he said that there was not much i could do.
I cooked dinner and we ate, then he went back downstairs. I offered to help again and he told me that I could pack his bag for his trip out of town. So i did that. then, I was so tired that I fell asleep shortly after 10.
This morn. he left in the wee hours and kissed/hugged me good-bye. I told him ily (which he always says back, just doesn't say it first).
I have plans for tonight and tomorrow night, then Wed, h said that he is going out after he gets home.
So, we didn't have a whole lot of interaction, but at least I didn't start anything!!
Good for you, Karen! Sometimes what is not said is just as important as saying something!! You are doing great! Now you can relax until Wed. Take care of yourself. Good Work.
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
Hi all, Just a quick ud: H called me yesterday from his hotel. He sounded forlorn. He was going to go out to eat, and I could tell that he is just bored/tired...
I felt like I didn't have a lot to contribute to the convo. I just asked about his drive, class, dinner plans, what's on tv, etc.
Tonight I'm going out to eat w/a group of girls. The one girl is the one we are going to the concert w/next fri. w/her h. I'm looking forward to it, but I know I need to loosen up so I can bang my head. For some reason, I've gotten very shy around h, and shy is NOT me. I want to be fun, carefree, goofy Karen.
read ch. 2 of dr. i will post goals and how I will see them soon.
I had a great time last night with the girls. Called h to say hi briefly while I was at a friend's house. This afternoon he called me to tell me he was on his way home. (Takes about 3 1/2 hours). He was talkative, and I wanted to talk, but someone came up to my desk and had to ask me a question and we have "spies" at work that tell my boss EVERY time I'm on the phone or late or whatever (which are rare, but it's EXTREMELY tense in my group right now.)
So he let me go and said he would see me very late tonight since he is going out. I feel a little sad. I missed him, and he did tell me that he was going out tonight, but I wish he was like, "oh, I want to see YOU and spend the evening with YOU." ya know? corny, yes, but honest. But, yes, I do know that we will be together prob. tomorrow and the rest of the weekend.
My friend who lives in CO may be coming to OH tomorrow, so if she does, I may go out with her one weekend night. I feel nervous about that. ME telling H that I am going out. Not a big deal AT ALL. He's not controlling AT ALL and wouldn't care, but it's that darn anxiety from being apart. I know I have to quit this nonsense. It is no way to live a life for either of us!! AND, I need to trust him!!! I have no reason not to.
Went to C appt. today. I was dreading it, but it turned out ok. We actually talked about having a plan and goals for the first time in 15 months.
Ok, was having some anxiety, but I need to STOP!!! I do this crazy thing when H goes out, I look for evidence of how much effort he put into looking good. He put a lot of effort in tonight, so I'm feeling mad like when he is going to put that effort into when WE go out???
**sigh** But, I realize that I MUST act as if...oc, I will be happy to see him, but I MUST NOT MUST NOT MUST NOT pull this crap of complaining about his lack of effort with me. I know it will come back in time. I am hoping that he will tell me that he missed me, but I don't want to be disappointed if he doesn't. He said earlier that he was happy to be going home or to his own home or something like that. (And his lovely wife too???) Ok, so I haven't been very lovely. Must be nice so he WANTS to come home to ME).
I am seriously thinking about what you have all told me about this being where you USED to be before your h's dissed you.
OK, should I attempt to make a goal or two for the rest of the week? Ya'll know how I can overwhelm myself.
Anyone want to help? I will not start fights w/h. I will act as if I am totally fine w/spending time apart or if he is moody/tired. I will clean up some of this house! karen
Must be nice so he WANTS to come home to ME).