Slowly building again.

[Jack_Three_Beans]

Warts and all right?

I remember reading that you were different than many of the other guys here, and I took your word for that. But with your very honest post in XYZ's thread, you are different, but your not.

All the crap behavior the other guys including myself we built up over time. You had the condensed concentrated and fast acting version.

She said that I need to back of and we both need to work on ourselves now, then maybe we can address the marriage part in a few months

If your impatience is getting the better of you she is right Harrier. She is going to know if your faking this...any of it. And if your faking any of the changes she wants? You doing both you and her a disservice, cause its just a trick.

Epicurus (google him pretty smart guy) suggested that self-restraint paves the way for long-term pleasure. He also discarded transitory stimulation in favor of enduring satiation.

I see patience and self restraint going hand in hand. Just as self restraint and self control, and since we can only truly control ourself? What does that say about us if we cannot even do that?

That only helps if you can see them as similar.

A little bit more modern, I'll just take something right out of DR. "Patience is more than a virtue; it's a neccesity."


You want a more visual aid?

Get and set a mousetrap complete with cheese.
Without using any tool but your fingers, get the cheese off.
Try doing that without patience and you'll feel the results.

You could argue that if your fast enough you'll be fine
So go ahead and try it. : ) Your theory IS sound, but the pratical application of it...I'll bet money on you being in finger splints.


For me?
Was all the hard work I put in worth putting at risk because I was needy? And that's what it is needy. Are you a needy codependant guy? I sure as hell might have been but I sure as hell didn't want her to see that either, not did I want to be.

Week to week, day to day, hour to hour, at worst? Minute to minute. Being patient is like quitting smoking, it is a pain in the buttocks. Both however are good for you.

As for not being in piecing?

You are still in the same house, and Harrier, she is going to watching you...you might not get to talk about your wants, but as she said give it a few months, and if she believes in you, you likely will again.