For now, just remember: You cannot control your H, no matter what you do. He will do what he wants to do. Let him be.
From what I see, he is very much like my H, loves the kids, but is confused because of his feelings for OW. He does seem to value the family.
I also thought about all that you said - the fear of pulling back, making him turn to the OW.
Let me ask you first: what was the effect of what you did - trying to show how great your life was, etc. Did he notice? Is it positive? Did it make you a better person as well? or were you living in the past, not making any changes?
Me:49 H:45 D:12 M:14 T:18 Bomb: 6/26/10 EA: 9/3/10, fizzled out slowly, now ??? 11/5/11 Retrouvaille Finally piecing.... Its peaceful at last, but we got a looong way to go
