Welcome to the board. I'm sorry you have to be here but you will find compassion and people who understand very much what you're going through.
Your sitch sounds very familiar to me also. My H had an emotional affair 13 years ago. I believe his MLC started then or at least a precursor to it. He fought and came back from it and things went well for a while. I believe it was just interrupted. It has now resurfaced with a vengeance.
I'm here to tell that yes, you need to own your part in the down fall of your marriage. We all have things that we need to work on. I'm also going to tell you that you could have been the perfect wife and that if your H is going through MLC this would have still happened. There was nothing you could do to stop it and nothing you can do to fix it.
Snodderly has given you wise advice. Go on as if your H will not return. That will prepare you for whatever way your sitch turns out. Knowing that you can handle things without him gives you confidence. If your H returns you will rely on that confidence to deal with putting your M back together. If he doesn't return, well then you'll already know you'll be OK.
My H also filed for a divorce and we are in the thick of that.
This board and the folks on it literally saved my sanity. I never thought I would say this even though I heard it often enough. I was told that one day I would be grateful for this journey that I was set upon through no choice of my own. You know what? It is true.
Keep posting Rue. We're right here walking along with you.
