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[angel61]

I read somewhere else that when you reconcile, don't count of the fact that your spouse will have changed. You are getting your old spouse back, and they may even be worse for wear at that time, damaged and worn out by the crisis they have been through.

On the other hand, us LBS have gone through the darkest time in our life but we would not be here, waiting, not giving up hope had we not found ourselves. All of us agree we get out of this sitch a much BETTER person.

We have to be patient and wait for our H or W to come back, and we still have a lot of work to do. We have to lead them out of the darkness they are in as well, carefully, so as not to lose them. The fact that they are back, or have signified wanting to work on the M, is just a beginning. They have a long way to go, and we are ahead of them, thus it is upon us to still be the lighthouse.

The advice that everyone gives here is that the best way, maybe the only way, to do this is by example. Taking things slowly, using your best judgement, not being demanding .... maybe those are good things to start with.