Well, so here I am a few months later. I have found out that there was another man. A "Friend" from highschool that she used to date, and to me appears to be "the" shell around the emotional side of her. As if it were kept on a dusty silver platter in the back of the shelf awaiting his approach to her. I found out about it by her Iphone lighting up one night while I was close to it and me seeing the string of messages all romantic expressing a desire to get together "again". I dont know how long it has gone on, but her cell phone shows his as the only birthday out of everyone she knows on her calendar. I have since told her I wanted to work on this, and she seems to as well, but is also going thru a MLC, with working out, getting new tattoos, new piercings, just seeming to want to recapture her teen-hood. A slew of single girlfriends dont really help the matter much. She seems unhappy with me still. I get little crumbs that seem to brighten my whole day, but then lay awake at night wondering if he is calling her at work, or emailing her. Has this just been stuck even further undercover? Has she really "deleted his number" or decided to end contact? He is still on her facebook page as a friend, all of his posts on her pictures are still there. She posts her glamour shots on facebook seemingly to desire attention from single male friends, who are certainly complimentary. I post that I like one of the pictures and she gets angry at me saying its as if I were in a pissing contest with the rest of the guys posting there. She seems unhappy around me, but when we go out with friends, she runs into other guys and is beaming with happiness, close and hangy all over them. but not with me. We still havent had an intimate life, going on 4 years now. I left for 3 days over new years after just finding out about the EA. It just about crushed my D9, who made me sign a picture contract to promise to stay there and not leave again. Broke my heart.
My wife just seems completely disinterested in me, hasnt said or offered any line for me to get closer to her. She doesnt understand flirtation with other men and how it affects us at this point. I sound insecure and having no self esteem, but thats all surface first response stuff. I am talking about being on the verge of leaving for good, and thats where I am. Looking for some sign that we might work out, but being crushed at every few steps. We went out to dinner the other night with friends, and theres this one particular party guy that everyone knows and gets along with, including me. Not her normal type at all, but within the past few months shes suddenly giddy around him. We were sitting at a table and another friend took out her camera and my wife immediately leans towards him to take a picture with. I was sitting on the other side right next to her. Her friend then gestured for her to lean towards me and take a picture with me which she obliged, but by then i felt like second place.
I am not a fan of tattoos. She wants me to design one for her on her back. How can she want something so permanent when theres no sign of permanence for "us"? I am supposed to use symbols for faith, and hope, and peace, and love, when none of those seem to be remotely available within her. She rushes to the side of single men she hasnt seen in 20 years who were high school friends, but seems to cringe when she hugs me.
this is my continuing story. I see I havent had any responses from anything above probably because of its longwindedness and singluar paragraph. But I could go on.
