Best thing in your sitch is to put yourself in your W's shoes. REALLY. The impatience comes from selfishness. From the beginning you kept mentioning that you didn't understand why your W couldn't do things that you thought were easy for you to get. That you didn't really need to DB, etc.
The main focus on DB is change. You knew that patience was something you lacked but whenever your W wasn't moving as fast as you thought she should have been moving, you'd get angry.
Make it a point to really understand your W's POV as if it were your own. Build empathy for her. That's where that deep connection will come from. Her EA was based off the idea that the OM "understood her". You need to get to that place. Put her needs before your own. Always. It's tough, but you can do it.
Bond, this is the challenge I face. I believe every experience we take in is wholly unique to us. I don't see blue, they way you see blue.
We are all different people with different experiences. Because of that I can never fully know what it's like for her to go through what she went through. That's not to say I haven't tried. I need to do more to understand and empathize. I'm not using that as a cope-out. And I can really do a lot more try to understand her POV. But I will never see it 100% her way. Maybe that's a flaw that I can't overcome. I don't know. Also, I don't know how to square that with my w telling me to "stop trying to know what [she's] thinking or doing or feeling." ideas?
I need to figure out why in this area I am impatient - you hit on it I'm selfish. FMV hit on it too. Fear. I swear I'm not impatient in most areas of my life.
W called me today to see how my day was going. Had a nice normal conversation. I believe if I work on this as you suggest and address the fear as FMV suggest, it might work out.
Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet. --Jean Jacques Rousseau.
