Boltie, for my situation, you are so dead on. Oh man, the hours my H worked was a BIG issue. I'm not sure I was even as constructive as you sounded in the bad scenario.
Honestly, I thought that me wanting him home and not at work because I missed him was just so obvious. But you know what? He told me he felt like he couldn't do anything right and he didn't think I loved him. So... not so obvious. My communication skills were crap.
Right now, I'm not so sure they are much better. I still get mad about the work hours but I wouldn't tell him that in a million years as I am trying so hard not to rock that boat. But I still feel crappy so I have not improved much. I know its a long road back. But the wall between us really hurts a lot. I'm trying my best not to react to that. However, I still need some work on my communication. Pretending problems don't exist is probably no better than my first method of simply getting mad.
