Quick update, Wife dropped bomb on 01/12/11 and I moved out 2 days later. Wife has D papers in her possession for over a week now but has not given them to me or brought them up in conversation. I have been very effective in not being the one to initiate contact with her on a daily basis, but if I have to due to the kids I keep it short/sweet. Was contacted on Monday by a mutual friend who wanted to tell me that they spoke to W and she told them that W made the comment that “I don’t want to give up on a happy family life but I don’t really feel like I miss H that much”. Comments were also made that the sitch is getting easier on children each day and everybody is less stressed since I moved out. Every Tuesday D’s have dance that W and I attended together and afterwards we all go next door to restaurant for dinner. This started shortly before the bomb and with its continuation, has allowed me to DB my backside off once a week. (One of the biggest problems in our M was that I overreacted when the kids acted up in public. This has given me center stage to expose my 180 on this) Had to call W yesterday to ask a ? about kids and was told that FIL had emergency surgery the night before. I listed to W and gave her chance to vent on it, I then tried to end conversation but she asked how my day was going. I answered short and sweet and tried again to get off phone but she asked how things were going with me in sitch, again I answered light/breezy and inquired about how she was doing and told her that if she ever wants to talk about R with no strings attached feel free to call me…. What should be my next step? I want to be back in the house. I truly feel that the 180’s would be 100% more effective if were seen by W on a daily basis but am scared about just going back without W’s ok. My fear is that if I try before she is ready and it backfires then I would have given my kids a false sense that I was back. Do I just continue on the path that I am on? Take it one day at a time and continue to test waters here and there? Do I try to make plans to spend time with W or do I ask for d paperwork and try and move on emotionally while I continue 180’s? I ask this because after a month and a half I am still a wreck, not in front of her and kids, but all I can think about is going home. Family/Friends advice is to move on, get paperwork, show what it is like without me, better myself, and if she goes through with it I will be fine if not she will come back. I am scared to pull that trigger….. Any suggestions? _________________ M32 W32 D7 D4 S3 Bomb-01/12/11 Filed-01/17/11
