Positively moving forward

[kml]

I think the way it often works is this (obviously talk to your lawyer):

If he's going to remain on the deed and the idea is you split the proceeds when you sell later, then you pay an amount equal to fair market rent for living in the house. House expenses above that amount should be split equally.

Is this what you want? It protects you against some of the loss if you have to sell at a loss or if the house becomes a money pit. But you also lose half the appreciation if the house value goes up. You have to very carefully consider the condition of the house, your local housing market, the amount of equity in the house, the likelihood that you could qualify for your own mortgage loan etc.

[awest1217]

My house is flopped. It is worth $20,000 less than when it was bought 5 years ago and because we financed everything like many young couples 5 years ago I can't refinance until I get it down another $6000 so like another 4 years. Now I can afford the house on my own, but H wants to stay on in case I ever want to get rid of it. Like if I get remarried or buy something else or can't afford it then he wants dibs and if he signs off he won't get that. Right now we have it that if I have to sell we split everything which I feel is fair until I refinance.

I just think if he wants to stay on the deed "just in case" then he needs to pay something to me to stay on because I am footing the whole bill and have been since Apr 2009. If he wants part of it then he has to pay.

BeingMe-we have our lawyers and mine is a lisenced mediator so we would have just all sat down, but H doesn't want to spend the extra money or miss a day of work (I think he also finally wants this over with like I do...just wondering why now all the sudden? He always wanted a D, but was dragging his feet at the beginning. Now my concern, but a little curious). Everything is getting put in writing so I don't get hosed and neither does he.

[kml]

If you are upside down in your house, i don't know why you would want him off the deed. It is better for you if he stays on it - then if you have to sell at a loss, he is responsible for half the money that has to be put up. Otherwise you're on the hook for the whole amount.

Are your house payments a lot less than rent? If not, you might consider just going ahead and selling the house - he pays half the loss, you pay half - and just renting for now. less headache, no unexpected bills etc.

If you really want to keep the house, AND you are confident you will be able to qualify for the loan in the future, that's one thing. But otherwise it may not make sense to keep it.

[kat727]

That's kind of like why people cheat! Let me keep my spouse in the dark because if things don't work out I will still have him/her! Yuck.

I don't believe he should have any rights to the house if he hasn't been paying. If your house is worth less you don't have any built up equity to pay him. Off he comes with the divorce. (He would still be on the loan but not on the deed. My county wiped ex right off but changed my name without even checking with me!!) If he wants to buy it from you later, tell him to make you an offer!

kat

[kml]

What is your house payment? What would a comparable house rent for in the area?

[awest1217]

My house payment with escrow is 913. I can't remember how it breaks down, but rent for a comparable house around here is about that maybe 800 without insurance, and 2 bedroom apartments are 800 a month without insurance so it is a good amount that I can afford easily or will have to no matter what.

H and I talked again tonight and he said he doesn't want to sign the quick deed and not take on any loss if I have to sell.

[kml]

Wait - he's saying he wants to stay on the deed, but if you sell at a loss he doesn't have to pay half??? That's kinda BS. Don't fall for it.

[awest1217]

I will say he is giving me full rights to always claim S every year. I want the house because I can't afford a loss on the house, the car, and a new place to live. Most importantly, I love my house and can afford it so I want to keep it.

H says he doesn't want to sign the deed because if something happens to me then he can't have the house, but if I refinance then he will sign off. He said not signing protects him, but he also wants to not pay anything if there is a loss if we sell. It is all a bunch of ifs.

I should be able to refinance in 4 years unless the requirements change. I could refinance now if the economy hadn't gone down. Credit wise I am great. I might need a little more in savings, but that will increase once I don't have to pay a L and can pay off my car in 2.5 years. Overall, I should be great. If H and I can agree on the house then we are done, but I am not sure what is best for me to do. H sign quick deed and I take all loss if I ever have to sell or H not sign until I refinance, but we split everything (gain or loss).

So confusing! But hopefully over soon.

[kat727]

He can't have it both ways. If he wants to stay on the deed, he needs to pay half. I can't think that a lawyer would even suggest that. My ex is still on the loan as he filed bankruptcy, drug me with him and the bank won't let me do anything while he is still in the bankruptcy process.

The court took him off the deed as soon as the divorce was done, so the house is in my name only but the loan is not. He probably doesn't care too much as his credit is improving with every payment I make!

kat

[awest1217]

kat that is the same with me. H isn't filing for bankruptcy, but he is getting better credit with me paying for the house. Without the mortgage, his credit would decrease greatly because he pays his bills late all the time.

Thank you for letting me know about your situation because he keeps saying if I foreclose or if I get hurt that it helps him because he could then take over the house, but it also hurts me because as what you are going through so hopefully I can refinance soon and just get it in my name and forget him.