Sometimes it took a day or two. But the important thing is, is that she's seeing and sharing what was underneath it.
How did she end up feeling after she finally revealed her hurts to you? Hopefully, she found it to be a positive experience and relieved some of her fear and pain. If so, I bet that 'delay' will grow shorter and shorter as she continues to open up.
FMV, I think she felt better. I shared with her my impressions from what I observed going on with people there. I think it helped her to see that people were behaving certain ways in general, and that there was more going on than she realized.
We went to a dance class on Monday night. Last night she didn't want to go to her Pilates class. We usually practice dancing afterwards, so I stayed home and made a practice date with her, that went well. We practiced for 45 minutes, longer than our usual 1/2 hour.
I failed to mention that on Sunday when she was venting, she threatened to stop dancing with me and go her separate way again socially. I told her that was not acceptable, and that I would not want to be married any further if she took that course again.
As Starsky suggests, it is important to be mindful of my needs, and to not become invisible or overly accommodating. I am doing that by making sure we attend the studio, dance classes and ballroom events that I want. On the other hand, I think trying to control her picking and bad moods will be futile and missing the emotional elements of what's happening. I'm going to stay with the Hold Me Tight approach for healing injuries for now. DNO thinks that my W is looking for me to rise to the challenge of staying with her. I think staying with her emotional storms in a calm, listening yet sharing manner is a way of rising to the challenge. We'll stay the course and see.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
