Right now I am thinking that even more important than "Beckie" understanding my views, I need to look a little closer to understand my views, as well.
Reading these boards, and doing my best to apply what I am learning, more and more I am seeing the true value of being true to me.
Of actually having an irresistably attractive quality of life for me.
This is hard to admit, but I really don't need my wife in order to create and enjoy an extraordinary quality of life.
I really do want to learn to surf. I need to learn to surf.
I am going to go to Costa Rica and do that as soon as possible.
Also, for several days now I have let stress and fear and focusing on pain and loss prevent me from sleeping and eating well and also from working out.
Gotta get back to my heavenly state of presence, relaxation, flow.
Yesterday one of my business partners spent 45 minutes thanking me for everything I have done and continue doing for our business. He renewed his vows and re-doubled his efforts to stay the course and fulfill the vision we have for our business.
There is something magical for me here.
There are far more gifts and treasures for me here than I could see while looking at things through my "Beckie" googles and doing things with the sole intent to win her back.
I have been afraid of her falling for a more confident, attractive, alpha-male man, instead of actually becoming a more confident, attractive, alpha-male man.
Feeling like that kind of man within myself is going to take some time. And when I am being completely honest with myself, feeling good about myself was always a primary driver in my decisions to put the pursuit of financial freedom ahead of everything and everyone else in my life.
So I have been acting like a dog chasing it's own tail.
But at least I was an alpha dog. I refused to take second place to anyone.
Not quite the same as being the alpha male. A leader of men, defender of women, and protector of children.
But I know I'm on the path. Welcome to the next level - Let the transformations continue!
DAILY QUESTIONS:
How do I know I am an outstanding Husband today? Because the last time we spoke my wife said something along the lines of seeing that I have been becoming more attuned to her feelings, and I am feeling that as well.
And how does that make me feel? How does it feel knowing I am becoming even more perceptive, respectful, aware and attuned to the needs and feelings of my wife? It makes me feel more confident. It reminds me that know man in the world knows, loves or understands her as well as I do, and it makes me feel even more confident knowing she knows that, too.
How do I know I am an outstanding Father today?
Because today I will be talking to my son about the work that I have given him to help him become financially independent. And how does that make me feel, helping my son become independent? Even through my mistakes, it reminds me how much I love him and how devoted I am to helping him live well, and teaching him how to take better care of himself.
How do I know I am an outstanding Friend today?
Today I know I am outstanding friend because rather than just answering these questions for myself as I usually do, today I am taking the time to type my answers out and share them openly with all my DBing friends. It makes me feel really good to give nice to others, and it doesn't hurt my ego to remember that I have an unlimited supply of Love to tap into and share.
How do I know I am an outstanding Lover today?
Because I am making love to my wife right now. It has been days since we've had contact and I am patiently waiting for her response before making another move. That makes me smile on a cellular level with just the right amount of bad-ass biker thrown in.
How do I know I am an outstanding Partner today?
Because not only do I do my part, but I have chosen to be with partners who have proven they are committed to doing their parts, as well. That makes me feel...curious, actually.
Gives me something to think about regarding "Beckies" values and standards, choosing to walk away after only 2 months of marriage, and willing to leave me stranded without even gathering the facts before she acts.
It also reminds me to be present and not assume anything. Yes, she has taken many steps towards divorce, but it hasn't actually happened yet and at the moment we are still married.
How will I take extremely good care of my mind and body today?
Walking meditation then p90x program before work. And how does that make me feel? Challenged to be sure, but remembering to love the flow or endorphins and the awesome feelings of pride and satisfaction every time I am done.
How am I being financially responsible today?\
After many months of development and testing, today we are finally launching a new product that will help hundreds, if not thousands of people build their own, sustainable on line business. I know I am responsible because I know I am managing myself well enough to manage the needs of all our existing clients, and I know I will become an even better leader as our company continues to attract more and more followers everyday.
Holy Cow I have an amazing life!!!
I am being the possibility of:
1) Integrity 2) Loving myself completely. 3) Things flowing naturally between us, without any fear or attachment to the outcome.
